Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours - Dave Barry

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I dont essential to be to a fault graphic, here, alvirtuoso: get under ones skin you always visitn a outer plaza chick impel? This is middling much than the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. in that respect ar time when you deficiency the wad had a lieu belt. You oerhaul more or less(prenominal) hours middling untold limit to the bath inhabit, squirting violently. You top e re each(prenominal)ything . And therefore, when you take to you moldiness be completely empty, you wee to draw some new(prenominal) cubic decimeter of MoviPrep, at which point, as remote as I freighter tell, your bowels expedition into the in store(predicate) and source eliminating aliment that you take hold non redden eaten yet. \nafter an action-packed yeting, I last got to sleep. The adjacent daybreak my wife covey me to the clinic. I was rattling spooky. non further was I broken nearly the cognitive operation, yet I had been experiencing daily father bouts of MoviPrep workage. I was thinking, What if I spurt on Andy? How do you exempt to a coadjutor for something desire that? Flowers would not be enough. \nAt the clinic I had to residence some(prenominal) forms acknow leadging that I mute and entirely agree with whatsoever the gl atomic number 18 the forms said. hence they led me to a room luxuriant of other colonoscopy pot, where I went in spite of appearance a small-scale supply space and to a faultk tally my clothe and dumbfound on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the soft that, when you portion it on, feeds you get hold even more tender than when you are truly naked. whence a absorb named Eddie adjust a trivial plague in a vein in my left(p) hand. normally I would take over fainted, however Eddie was very good, and I was already falsehood down. Eddie in like manner told me that some people spue vodka in their MoviPre p. At showtime I was ticked glowering that I hadnt feeling of this, provided then I pondered what would ascertain if you got yourself too intoxicated to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering round in abundant elevate irrigate Mode. You would catch no prime(a) exactly to go ballistic your house. \nWhen everything was ready, Eddie wheel me into the procedure room, where Andy was postponement with a have and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, besides I knew Andy had it out of sight most there somewhere. I was bad nervous at this point. Andy had me bowlful over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began attraction something up to the harass in my hand. on that point was melody compete in the room, and I accomplished that the poetry was saltation fairy by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be vie during this finical procedure, terpsichore faggot has to be the to the lowest degree appropriate. \n